train ride diary

March 20, 2009 - One Response

i kept a diary of myself riding the train back from san luis obispo today. read more after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

chocolate

February 7, 2009 - Leave a Response

there’s no reason i titled this chocolate. i just wanted your attention. there’s a lot this post has in common with chocolate (this blog is an aphrodisiac and people with diabetes dont like it). anyways, i just wanted to key you in on my favorite phrase:

“try harder”

that’s why i would like to give you a list of people who need to “try harder.”

1) the boston celtics. they were doing well last night, and then the lakers caught back up. instead of winning the game, the celtics lost, causing me to yell “try harder celtics.”

2. whoever the fuck loads the toilet paper in the bathroom. i dunno if it’s on purpose but, whenever i grab some toilet paper, it gets caught on the second roll (the number 2’s number 2) and i’m left with a single sheet. i need at least 3. preferably 4.

3) the barenaked ladies. if it’s all been done, try harder.

4) me on posts.

February 4, 2009 - Leave a Response

http://www.cnn.com/2009/TECH/02/03/myspace.sex.offenders/index.html

fuck…i just found a good profile song too…

first babe

February 2, 2009 - Leave a Response

this just in…martha washington was a babe. flat out. not exaggerating. i don’t have a thing for grannies or anything but wow she’s hot. but how did he land her? wooden teeth? white horse? lying? i’ve tried two of those things and women tend to not like them. that point also disproves anything i learned in the horse whisperer. or liar liar. i should’ve paid closer attention i think.

i’m offended

January 26, 2009 - One Response

http://mikearney01.wordpress.com/2009/01/26/the-snuggie/

i wish i could be like mike.

January 13, 2009 - Leave a Response

stupid strep…

the wrestler

January 13, 2009 - Leave a Response

if you have 3:50 seconds to spare, listen to the song “the wrestler” bruce springsteen wrote for the film of the same name. the song is amazing. bruce is amazing.

HBO

January 9, 2009 - Leave a Response

they have hbo in the dorms here. i swear, it’s hbo. they just purposefully pick the worst programming for it.

that being said, i still just sat through all of i now pronounce you chuck and larry.

just an update

January 7, 2009 - Leave a Response

so yesterday, 10 people logged on and read this. i have 10 readers…time to kick my game up a bit.

just not today.

the wii is fun.

my top ten songs i would dance to if i were a stripper.

January 5, 2009 - Leave a Response

1. it’s raining men. a clear and obvious choice. plus, i’d strip in the rain.

2. ice ice baby. pelvic thrusts on the baseline. stripper gold people, stripper gold.

3. adagio for strings. i’m a romantic at heart.

4. everybody’s working for the weekend. i’d perform during the week. can’t work weekends. that’s when the crazies come out.

5. hurt. the johnny cash song. after a long long life spent in a downward spiral, i feel as though this would be a crucial step in communicating my life in my performance. an important part of an performer’s routine.

6. technologic. only, and i mean only, with strobe lights.

7. barbie girl. i also do children’s parties.

8. anything by the jonas brothers. see above.

9. hot n’ cold. i see a lot of potential. especially in the in and out line.

10. the theme to mr kotter. my fans are loyal. this would be a crowd pleaser. as would the t-shirt.